Envy: A Silent Poison That Harms Relationships
How can envy damage relationships and friendships? 10 telltale factors indicating that you happen to be envied are detailed down below. These warning signs that you shouldn't ignore might indicate that someone is jealous of you.
With these ten indicators, you won't be able to stop someone who is envious of you from feeling the way they do, yet you may avoid feeling unpleasant regarding yourself as your aren't convinced that other people may be genuine as a consequence of specific factors within your relationship with them.
I discussed the warning signs of friendship envy piece by piece within a blog post I put together in the recent past.
I wanted to expand over some of the content as well as add fresh perspectives after I went back and watched a couple of my previous videos as we were decoding them as part of a project. Additionally, I sought an opportunity to speak briefly with you more about envy more broadly this second time, not just solely friendship animosity.
I also wanted to address some of the mental and/or physical consequences that almost always result in therapy sessions for the recipient, or, if one wants to phrase it more simply, the victim, instead of the the person who is the main cause of that discomfort.
The obvious indicators of this very nasty sensation defined as envy, that is typically sensed by individuals who have severe anti social personality disorder, are only able to be realized once it manifests in conduct.
For example, a young person who has never attended college may decide to do so after witnessing someone close who completed their studies move on to pursue an upper management position, he understandably may find the status he has achieved.admiring
Although envy is a strong motivation, naturally
Although envy is a powerful motivator, the outcomes might not always be the same. Nevertheless, he decided on the right choice for his own benefit without harming anyone else—on the contrary, by accomplishing a goal and behaving in line with that aim, he acted very etchically
In any case, the outcome is never guaranteed. Who knows what will happen.
Let's imagine he couldn't achieve the same position, and when he saw the person he respected, he commenced to feel miserable and grew irritated towards the same individual for no apparent reason. The person who experiences this sensation ought to get back to it to analyze it as soon as possible since such a feeling, although seems at first to be completely human, may eventually transform into an increasingly pathological condition.
Everything he does, everything he says starts to weigh him down, and even if the other person supports him, further lends him cash, offers him guidance; he starts to think "his arrogance has gone through the roof, and he's cocky, he's just doing it in order to manipulate, he's showing off", ect. He may not realize that his mental process gradually starts to operate with a devious side that is designated to serve his thoughts regarding such imaginations...
In case he is able to handle the issue without offending the other party and keeping him from further doubting himself in the days to come, he honestly says:
"I feel that I'm battling with troubling ideas, and the more that I face you, the more I think about my shortcomings. Let's reduce the time spent together and allow me to get back to you, when I feel ready and when I get rid of these thoughts,”
In an ideal world, that is exactly what a person should do.
Considering there aren't many examples of such, I hypothesized that such an ideal scenario might demand a less complicated approach. Even if he has to make the other side question "what the hell is going on" , he should simply get out of his life...
But, as I already mentioned, this is not a particularly ethical manner; but even if the method causes pain to the other party and leads him to question himself, the discomfort or injury, if any at all, could subside with time and there wouldn't be any noticeable effects later in life.
Both parties will be able to process the issue personally through stillness and tolerance.
However, if this approach fails to be selected, and especially if you're in an intense connection with the individual who you are envious of, you are going to witness the absurdity of a contest called "I am not envious, he is terrible!" which your mind plays with yourself and which you think is legitimate, yet frequently questioning its accuracy.
But, probably, due to the fact that you aren't able to tolerate such unjust existence due to the game you created, plus since it's hard to dispute, you keep anticipating in the game, that has become your world's reality. And you start to seek for validation by the others regarding this made-up and stupid game in order to feel widely accepted by everyone else surrounding you.
Instead of perceiving yourself as an underachiever or simply embracing disappointments, accepting the praise of this mental game leads to you to judge high achievers poorly which can be severely destructive.
Because you cannot accept and move past life's upheavals and inequity, while it can be extremely challenging to keep pursuing regarding your own personal goals, you start to share your mental game with other people.
in fact, there’s plenty of time given that you will cease walking and begin to follow another person's path at some stage.
Most of the time, the prosperous person remains oblivious of these. Possibly he isn't even conscious of the fact that has been successful. He's simply walking, maybe for the reason he's scared that once he ceases, his imagination would begin playing games with him likewise. Who knows?
This is precisely the moment when the deceitful statements which render the achiever look bad commence.
There is another possibility.
Someone else in the same situation can begin playing these games without admiration, without putting any effort, that is, without even experiencing the "inspiration" phase that I pointed out so that he may study and hustle to become like him...
He was ready to seek for and discover new players to play the game with him, and finds a very firm audience, but which was tragically blank.…
When the audience is also devoid of value, they'll score lots of goals as a team against the vacant net of the team that lack a defensive unit nor the goalkeeper...
If the sole representative of the opposing team decides to go out onto the field to assess the situation, he will likely be shown a red card by a person he had no idea that he happened to be the referee...
They additionally present him the empty net, which is in shambles due to the goals that were scored, and then send him away....
But every single one of them are in their own shadow. Whatever they obtain doesn't qualify as a win for them. Because no one has played with them.
It is hard for them to live their lives with the sense of accomplishment of the scored goals towards a vacant net during a game that has no opposing team.
As a result, they keep on searching for abandoned nets in the following days...
However, at least the unaware player of the losing team has a net that belongs to him, even if it has been vacant, where aimless and envious others could score goals.
However, the uninformed member of the losing side holds a net that is his, regardless of whether it might have been vacant wherein irrational and envious opponents might have scored goals.
Envy seems to be just a meaningless game in which the envious individual is totally oblivious and encourages other people to join in the fabricated game invented by the wicked side of his brain, but sadly, in spite of the empty victory that was thought to be gained at the end of such a match, the despised individual's heart and soul, such as his net, has remained in tatters.
Envious souls, on the other hand, will be left with a devoid triumph to treasure.
At the same time, the opponent starts putting up an entirely new net..Who knows, maybe now that he's learnt his lesson, he'll be able to find a skilled defender and a competent goalkeeper.
He additionally possesses no urge for scoring goals since he just likes to play by himself. He undoubtedly generated a good deal through the crooked game.He has come to understand that if he wants to stay away from losing unforeseen matches in the days to come, he must employ a strong defense.
Strangely, envy is possibly solely helpful to the very souls that it's tearing apart...
I wanted to go over the "signs of envy" in this article to help those who need to establish their defense in advance of the moment when their nets fall apart .
And I feel compelled to add each time I refer to a sign of destructive conduct. Please do not look for such signs in far surroundings. People you don't have any concern for are unable to harm you.
The extent of the harm caused is proportional to the worth that you put for the person involved.
The deepest scar is created by the one who is dearest to you, or, to put it another way, by the person you think is the dearest to you...
So allow me to start by naming 10 of the traits a person who is extremely envious or resentful of you may display. With the goal to expand the level of your awareness.
1- Jealous People Underestimate Your Achievements
As obviously, these are the individuals with deprived self-worth; their sense of being not good enough contributes to a tendency to perceive other people's achievements as threat.
As a result, they try to divert people's focus away from their own accomplishments and put a great effort to minimize them.
This is the only way they can elevate individually. Diminishing someone else's achievements helps them overestimate their own low self worth t
A envious individual won't ever consider whatever you accomplish as being excellent.
He will denigrate the things you've achieved along with everything that you're proud of.
Instead of cheering you for what you've accomplished, they try to discredit it while making you feel like this is indeed actually true.
So, if you are happy and express it, they are going to persuade themselves, the ones around you, and even yourself that there's absolutely nothing that you should feel happy about in your miserable life.
2- Jealous People Talk Bad About You
You don't expect a jealous person to say something nice about you to others, or do you?
They will talk, they will even talk like caring about you, but very worried about your recent mental breakdowns. And the poison of their snake tongue will settle into the subconscious of others.
If incase you somehow hear about their concern and you confront them, they will convince even you of the virtue and nobility of their intentions with the instinct of feeling experienced snakiness. It is not important what is said, but how it is said. And when he tells you how he said it, probably you will be convinced as your heart wants to be convinced of good intentions of your loved ones.
If what they gossip around is half true, it's still a major problem because your trust has been betrayed. But they usually lie, and this time it already carries the nature of slander and is a crime even by law.
But they also really like to start and spread false or true rumors because they don't have a topic to talk about.
Because they have made their careers specializing in gossip, sedition and slander, it is not possible for him to tell you about a book he has read or a movie he has watched, a hobby, charity work he has done, a state of feeling he has experienced about a person he is in contact with…
Because these things do not exist in your life.
Because lying takes a lot of time. The right is easy. You know, and you say it ends, but when a lie becomes a career, and it takes years for a person to set up, manage, branch out, get stuck, it takes time and requires follow-up. Because it is necessary to show care and effort so that it does not come out right. It is an admirable labor to kill what is not, and also to raise it and make it live.
And why would they do that? As you can imagine, since they can't be good themselves, they make you believe that they have expenses by doing worse, first they convince themselves, and then they choose from idiots who have no insight and are tempted to believe the lies they are told, and their numbers are also quite high in the realm of el
3- Jealous People Compete With You in a Race That You Don't Even Know About
Jealous people challenge you from among them and put you in an undeclared race because they carefully fictionalize you quietly again among them.
They organize illegal matches without the knowledge of the federation with their opponents who are not even in the same league as them and who are unaware of their competition.
Maybe even willingly loses the match because that opponent does not know that he is playing a match or feels that he is in a match, but thinks that the result will not affect his own league. He even rejoices in his defeat, because he feels that he has made the other side happy.
For this reason, they turn a blind eye to fouls, tricks, goals scored with their hands during the match... making someone feel good is a greater reward for them than goals scored and a match won.
The purpose of a person whose brain has been burned out by jealousy is to try to see and show that he is weak and himself strong by scoring an empty goal again…
I always say to see and show. Because if others don't see their victory and congratulate and approve, they will be afraid to doubt at some point the absurdity of Deconstructing a match that doesn't exist, playing in that match and ultimately winning.
I told you, he wants to lie. Does he want it to be wasted on the lies he has built his life on, who has worked so hard…
4- Jealous People Criticize You in Order to Destroy and Intimidate You.
It doesn't matter how hard you work to achieve something or how talented you are for them. A person who is jealous has only one feeling for you, and that is jealousy.
But it is such a complicated feeling that they can't give it another name in the rush to name it something else.
I'm jealous, I don't officially say either to yourself or to others. For this reason, they load a lot of lies and biased emotions into their minds, brains, behavior, decisions, words, hearts for you... There is no room for other emotions in their bodies…
As a result, in order not to have difficulty creating these biased feelings, they will also see you as a scoundrel who is always doing wrong, treating them badly, cocky, incompetent, ugly, but just lucky…
But if they think a little, they will find it.
If they knew how unlucky someone who is so close to you, the person you love unconditionally, trust, share everything with you, work in your relationship, and you don't know because he never shares his vile thoughts with you and keeps laughing in your face, as well as unannounced matches, is actually added to your struggle in life, they would pity instead of envy... And they wouldn't understand that you're very unlucky, but I said, their brains have crossed the intelligence line due to the complexity of jealousy...That's why you look lucky in their eyes.
Their brains are burned somewhere on the journey…
And here they want you to learn by constantly telling you that you're not really shit by criticizing and scolding, and they reinforce your information with repetitions they make to make sure that you know or haven't forgotten. For them, this is a great effort they are making for you, and you are stealing their precious time even though you are not shit. And they will leave no room for the possibility that you will not understand these blessings because they put them in the eye. You should be grateful. You don't want to be shit and be ungrateful, do you?
Even in these criticisms, they often think that they are making you get hurt by comparing them to themselves or others. Because they have compared themselves to you and suffered great injuries in time. They think that what is in front of them is like themselves…
After a while, they feel that you are not injured and increase the dose, and unfortunately, in the end, what you say that you love gets into your subconscious... And the suggestions you make to yourself are added to the struggle you are having with life…
Let go of everything, when someone you love criticizes you, even trying too hard to look good to him is enough to get tired, exhausted…
5- Jealous People Give Illegal Compliments
Since jealousy is typically a result of low self-esteem, usually a person avoids perceiving their own self. Who wants to see the bad in himself?
Those who are jealous of you develop various methods to mask this feeling. Sarcasm is one of them.
They can't even give you a real compliment for crying out loud.
Do people who think that you have achievements and beauties that you don't deserve want to make you feel good?
They try to make it a cleverly disguised insult when they feel the need to compliment.
For example, you change the model of your hair and they don't say it's terrible, especially if you're in a crowded group and everyone is saying how much it suits you at that moment. They also know how to save their negative reviews for the moments when you start. Isn't it exhausting? In the absence of sincerity and reality, the big shift in life is actually evil and envy.
For example, they say, “Look, it looks great. If you had done this without your husband cheating on you, he wouldn't have gone to another woman.”
6- Jealous People Steal Scenes
The last thing a jealous person wants to see is the spotlight turning on you.
Seeing you full of confidence and attracting all the attention can cause them to lose their minds in a real sense.
They certainly can't stand it.
These feelings are caused by the short-circuited and burned points in their brains that are uncomfortable with something that is not in them, talent, knowledge, love, money, as well as being in someone else.
I tried to explain it scientifically this time. I hope I did it.
They can't stand to hear about other people's success, let alone their money, peace of mind, or even their dreams.
7- Jealous People Are Also Curious
Jealous people are always poking their noses into your business.
They follow everything that happens in your life.
It's like they have to know everything that's going on with you, even if you're barely in touch with them, they take your secrets from your mouth and you give them away... I already said that these jealous people are already the closest of the envied people... the reason why the envious one creates trauma and the jealous one spends so much effort and makes sabotage plans is to be close anyway.
And this curiosity and the questions posed to you afterwards are not because they care so much about your well-being, as you think when you answer.
In order to distort and spread it to the environment, they need accurate information about you. The time they spend is for your truths, which they will use in the future to make their lies seem consistent and true. Infrastructure spending, that is... they even add that time spent, like the patience or grace they show you, to the lies they will tell in the future.
Of course, what they are really looking for is a simple and human situation with dirt or stains that you can easily admit that you trust them, but their needs are already a speck of dust...They know very well how to make a speck of dust on you into mud.
8- Jealous People Try to Create Meaningless Arguments
When you're trying to talk to a jealous person about something simple that you've been through with them, or even telling them about a very ordinary and unrelated incident, if you're going into different topics to prove that you're wrong in some way, placing yourself in the incident, or talking about someone who's been unfair to you, they start acting as a lawyer to that person and it's ridiculous. But the problem is that it is difficult to understand.
Because they usually don't think about favoring you in any way, but they think about the other side's justified alternative reasons and find them.
What is interesting is that when it comes to what is happening between the two of you in discussions, these people who have never found your alternative reasons and are acting thoughtlessly, but you accept Decently and still do not stop loving, even when you talk about what a master who comes to your house has done wrong or failed to do, or something like that, they make a better defense for them than a 40-year-old lawyer who has devoted his life to his profession for that master…
You think he's trying to soften you up, you don't even think of an alternative bad reason, if it's about the one you love, of course...but the main goal is to prove to you that you're a rude and impervious person who always magnifies problems and sees someone else's mistakes.
Fortunately, he impersonates a lawyer. What if he were the judge? You can get a life sentence when you complain about the paints that the paint master spills everywhere and you can't remove them.
These people are also known as energy vampires.
When they are disappointed in their own lives, these people who act secretive and feed their inner hatred instead of being told, shared, comforted, make that hatred their comfort zone and become unable to look at the situation that no one is in.
They want you to be miserable like them. They are afraid that if they give the right, you will relax. They want to be filled with hatred like themselves.
9- Jealous People Love Your Mistakes
Jealous people are very afraid of encountering situations where they will have to praise others because they do not have any noteworthy achievements of their own.
These toxic people are very relieved when they see that others are struggling with a problem or are miserable.
Whether you make a mistake or you have some kind of loss, stop trying to help, they want to be there for you at any moment to hit you in the face.
They can't happen every moment, but they have to tell others because. In fact, it takes a lot of time than they will tell honey honey honey. I'm sorry I couldn't call today, honey, when they said, understand, okay?
10- Jealous People Give Bad Advice
You will not be able to get well-intentioned, useful advice from someone who is jealous of you.
After all, their goal is that you don't get out of that situation where you need their advice.
Even if you say your own opinion or decision, they will even cause you to doubt your decisions and yourself about that situation.
There will always be jealous people around, and the more successful, rich, happy, peaceful you are, the more there will be anyway.
But now that you know the signs that someone is jealous of you, you can decide what to do.
I say find them and get them out of your life or at least keep them away.
But probably, despite all the symptoms, it will also be difficult for you to understand without being poked in the eye because of that tiny heart of yours that chooses to be blind and deaf when it comes to what you love.
If you are people who are angry with yourself, whether you doubt that you love or not, you are among those who know the truth but cannot do it.
Nevertheless, even if when you read this article or watch the videos I have shared the links to below, and when these substances become familiar to you, the feeling that I am not alone is enough for me. We may not be able to prevent suffering, but even knowing that we are not suffering alone is a positive step on the way to recovery…
That's my only motivation when I tell you this…
Proving that I'm not alone and you're not alone…
The goal is to heal at least a little bit by not feeling lonely while suffering…
When your pain drags you into loneliness, not only the pain is added because of the vultures around you, but also the self-doubt you have because of the negative emotions you are experiencing, and that feeling is very bad…
And because you're suffering, you think you're crazy with that feeling of doubt…
That's what I told you just so you know.
You are not alone…
And you're not crazy.
You've only come across bad people…
Love,
Nilgün BODUR
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